


Space

by Selly_Blackbird



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Boys Kissing, First Real Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Slash, raining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 04:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18958366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selly_Blackbird/pseuds/Selly_Blackbird
Summary: 'Can you imagine this?'How could he not see it after that description? Guan Shan saw everything, the spacecraft, the planets, the stars. He saw it just like he would see it on the TV. It was clear; it was vivid, it seemed real. He took a deep breath and his nose filled with Tian's cologne. The scent was starting to creating fog in his head.Guan Shan exhaled slowly, 'Yes,' he whispered.'Would you let me?' Tian asked again.





	Space

**Author's Note:**

> It's raining here, and when it's raining, I'm listening to sloppy lovesongs, drink too many coffees, and write trash like this. Sorry.  
> I'm not a native English speaker, not beta-d so mistakes are mine and I know there'll be plenty. Pls, be kind.

Mo Guan Shan pulled his legs closer to his body while he was drying his hair with a towel. He was sitting on the floor wearing only a boxer and one of He Tian's t-shirt. When his hair was dry again, he tossed the towel in the corner and picked up his phone what was on the charger. After he unlocked the screen, he opened the Weather app and watched how the boomerang effect showed the movement of the clouds in the last 2 hours. They covered the whole city, almost half of the region too. He scrolled down to see the warning.

**"Unexpected strong storm hit the south side of the country!"**

_Unexpected, my ass,_ Guan Shan thought. They were expecting the rainstorm just not for today but on the weekend. How was it possible that all the modern technology they have nowadays they can't predict when a fucking storm will arrive?

In the afternoon, Guan Shan was working in a little supermarket, it was his new part-time job when Tian showed up and decided to bother him from the rest of his shift. While Guan Shan was refilling the shelves with goods, Tian was talking about the latest dumb sci-fi what he saw. It was a movie about a two-headed shark who ate everybody on an island. Tian was theorising if it was biologically possible because if there were Siamese twins and they could exist two-headed sharks can happen too. It was fucking nonsense, but Tian's warm, soft tone gave a nice background noise to the quiet shop, where the owner forbade to turn on the radio. Although Guan Shan made nasty comments here and there (That's fucking stupid! This is ridiculous! You're an idiot!), he liked to listen to Tian's talk. Because, and he would never admit it loudly, but in his opinion, Tian was fucking intelligent, and he learnt a lot from him. He was the best student in the class, he was great in baseball and football too, and once somebody dared Tian to play on the piano, and he did it. That's why Guan Shan was surprised when he found out that Tian was incapable of cooking. He was able to burn his tea, and if Guan Shan didn't see that with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe it.

So when Tian mentioned the beef stew, Guan Shan knew he would spend the evening with cooking. He didn't want to go home, anyway. His mother was in the countryside, visiting her sister; the flat was empty, cold, and too quiet. End of his shift, he collected every ingredient they would need and let Tian paid for it. They left the shop carrying plastic bags, but they couldn't even make to the next corner when the rainstorm had arrived. It was impossible to catch a taxi, so they walked in the pouring rain to Tian's, and by the time they had arrived, there was more water in the bags than food.

This is how Guan Shan ended up sitting on the floor wearing only his underwear and a black tee. Luckily He Tian noticed he wasn't in a mood for cooking, so they just put the ingredients in the fridge. Guan Shan kept scrolling down to see more news about the weather.

**"There's red-warning in the following areas:"**

**"The wind is getting stronger!"**

**"Don't go outside only if it's absolutely necessary!"**

**"Try to turn off as many electric devices in your home as possible!"**

 

Soft yellow light painted the dark apartment for a moment when Tian came out of the bathroom. He switched off the lights and made sure every window was closed too.

'They say it will rain for hours, and it's unwise to go outside. Never understand why they have to draw attention to this. Who the hell want to go outside in the weather like this?'

'Jain Yi, if you say Zheng Xi is giving free hugs and chocolate in the shopping centre.'

Guan Shan laughed lightly and went back to read the news, but when Tian stopped in front of him, he looked up. He was dressed up similarly as Guan Shan and was holding a blanket in his and. Tian sat down too close to Guan Shan and wrapped themselves in the blanket.

Guan Shan turned his head. He didn't want to look into Tian's studying eyes, didn't want to see the smirk on his face and definitely didn't want to remember how Tian held his hand in the rain. Outside it was raining like cats and dogs, and it was almost impossible to see the neon lights too. The room was dark, only one lamp gave a little light and the phone screen in Guan Shan's hand.

Tian started rubbing his back under the blanket.

'What the fuck are you doing?' Guan Shan asked suddenly.

'You're shaking; you must be cold. I'm just warming you up.'

'Of course, I'm shaking, you bastard! It's so fucking cold here!

Tian had a scent of rain, night, and expensive cologne. His hair was messy, and there was that smirk on his face what would make girls' pants wet. Guan Shan knew Tian was watching him, but he was afraid to make an eye to eye contact. Lately, he had lost in those grey eyes too often, and it was dangerous.

'Move, you're too close,' Guan Shan said and pushed the other boy, but it was only good for that Tian caught his hand and pressed tightly on his chest. Keep avoiding Tian's gaze, Guan Shan went back to read the news, but he didn't grasp what he was seeing on the screen. He was just randomly open new and new articles to make the phone light because he was sure if it turns black, something would happen, and he was sure he couldn't face that.

They were sitting like this for long minutes. His hand was still on Tian's chest, he could feel his heart beats and the warm what was coming from his body. He didn't even try to move his hand from there. He knew Tian always do what he wants, and if he wants to keep Guan Shan hand there, he would. (and no, Guan Shan wasn't enjoying the skin to skin contact. Definitely not!) Tian's other hand was still resting on Guan Shan's back, and Tian was watching him.

'Can I kiss you?' Tian asked suddenly.

Guan Shan jerked away from his hand, and turned his head to Tian in shock, 'What the fuck? No!'

'Why not?' Tian tilted his head, and he looked like a puppy who doesn't know why he got punishment.

'You know why.'

'No, I don't.'

'Don't play dumb, you, idiot! You know exactly why.'

Guan Shan knew Tian never cared about rules or laws. He always wore what he wants in the school, and if wanted to skip a class, he simply climbed over the wall and left. He never thought about what would happen if he got caught. He smoked where it was forbidden and bought alcohol although he was underage. He had the money to buy people's silence, and if it wasn't enough, he had the strength to make them silent. Actually, it wasn't surprising considering the fact that his whole family was in the mafia and they lived their lives according to their own rules. And Tian had this twisted idea that who was his friend can do the same, but Guan Shan knew it wasn't true. He came from a lower-class family, he didn't have money, didn't have the charisma as Tian had. Besides all these, Guan Shan knew no matter how rich you are, or how dangerous you could be, nobody would tolerate same-sex relationships, and he couldn't understand how was that possible that Tian didn't know this.

'Let's play! Imagine that we're in the space!' Tian spoke again. His voice was playful, and he was smirking again.

'What the fuck, He Tian? Where this weird thought came from?'

'It's not weird. Come Little Mo, play with me. Close your eyes and imagine it.'

'The fuck, I won't do that!'

The lamp in the corner flickered. The vibrant light attracted Guan Shan's gaze, and even Tian looked at the direction of the lamp. The flickering stopped, and Guan Shan began to relax that the electricity would survive the storm when the vibrating started again, but after a moment, the light was steady again. Guan Shan exhaled loudly.

Tian turned back to him, smirked. Red eyes met with the grey ones, and Guan Shan knew he lost the battle with himself.

'Close your eyes,' said Tian with a deep, commanding voice, and Guan Shan found himself obeying. Moments passed in utterly silent, then Tian began to talk with a much smoother voice.

'Imagine. We aren't in the city anymore. Not in China, hell we aren't on the Earth. We are in space. Do you wonder how we ended up here? Who knows... Remember that idiot movie we saw last month? What was the title? Ah yes, Zathura... Remember the whole house went up into space, something like this happened here too, but luckily we don't have annoying kids here,' chuckled Tian, and even Guan Shan had to smile, then Tian continued.

'The apartment is floating, manoeuvring between the space debris what those fuckers left here. But there aren't only trash and spacecraft around us, there are stars too. We're surrounded by millions of shining little points. Some of them are brighter than the others, and some of them doesn't even exist anymore. We are gliding smoothly like a sailboat on the sea, and by the way, we've just left the Jupiter and its many moons. It's so quiet, because nobody is here, just you and me. Nobody sees or hears us. We could do whatever we want because we are on our own and we don't have to give an account of our action. Everything is allowed. There is no gravity, laws, rules, or traditions, no hates, judgements or excommunication. Just you and me, Little Mo, you and me. Can you imagine this?'

How could he not see it after that description? Guan Shan saw everything, the spacecraft, the planets, the stars. He saw it just like he would see it on the TV. It was clear, it was vivid, it seemed real. He took a deep breath and his nose filled with Tian's cologne. The scent was starting to creating fog in his head.

Guan Shan exhaled slowly, 'Yes,' he whispered.

'Would you let me?' Tian asked again.

His breath tickled Guan Shan's lips, and he knew the other boy was closer than it would be acceptable. Tian was asking permission so gently that it made Guan Shan shivering. He knew if he answers everything would change. There won't be a turning back. He couldn't say it's disgusting, or he didn't want to, because it was he who gave permission to He Tian to do it.

 _"Say, no! Push him away!"_ a little voice was screaming in his head. _"Why should I?"_ he asked himself _"Because it's unnatural. It's dangerous! It's unaccepta-..."_ After another deep breath, the voice disappeared in the Tian's cologne smelled fog.

'Yes,' Guan Shan replied. His voice was barely audible, maybe he didn't even say the words out loud, but he felt his lips brushed over a soft skin when he formed this little word.

There's no turning back; he knew it. It would happen in any minute, so he tried to calm down his heart what was beating like crazy and tried (really tried) to welcome it as prepared as it was possible.

It wasn't like the last time, what was the first time. Well, the only time, actually. It wasn't sudden, unexpected or forced. It was different. It was gentle.

First, Tian touched their lips together so lightly, like he was kissing rose petals. They felt each other breathes and Tian was waiting patiently because Guan Shan was taking breaths way too fast. But how he could not? He wanted this to happen and not happen at the same time, and he didn't know what would be better; chicken out of the whole thing or just get over it fast.

Tian slowly pressed their lips together and stayed like that. He was waiting for Guan Shan to calm down, and understand that everything was fine. When the red-haired boy didn't pull away, Tian began to kiss him tenderly. When he shyly licked Guan Shan's bottom lip and pushed his tongue forward to explore the mouth what he had tasted once; Guan Shan's phone slipped out of his hand and with a soft thump landed on the floor between them. Tian wasn't expecting a reciprocating, but when their tongue met in halfway, he sighed in relief.

In books, they say the kiss tasted sweet, or they describe a flavour, but no matter how hard Guan Shan tried, he couldn't put it in word what Tian's kiss taste. It tasted something wild, raw, manly maybe a bit of sweet but it was intoxicating that was sure.

One of Tian's hand was on Guan Shan's neck, the other one under the blanket, finger interlocked, and Tian was deepening the kiss gradually.

Only when the need for air became impossible to ignore, did Tian break away.

'Guan Shan,' Tian panted. It was so rare that Tian says his name; he always called him with pet names.

Guan Shan opened his eyes. The apartment was pitch dark; he couldn't even see Tian's face what was right in front of him. The other boy was panting in his mouth. He didn't look around, but from the corner of his eyes, he saw the neon lights were also black. The storm defeated electricity, but Guan Shan could only think of one thing: it was darkness everywhere. That means they were still in space, right? Far away from the Earth, the light, the rules. And If they were in space, he didn't have to say anything, right? Didn't have to face the consequences and the fact how much he wanted to feel Tian's kiss again.

Tian was holding his cheek between his hands, and Guan Shan leaned forward, without thinking, without doubting what if it was right or wrong. Leaned forward to crash their lips together again to get lost in a more passionate kiss. Once, he saw in a movie that one party in a kissing couple bite into the other's bottom lip and Guan Shan always wanted to try that out. He caught Tian's lip, held between his teeth and gently sucked it. Tian moaned into the kiss and moved both of his hand to Guan Shan's waist, and began to lean backwards, pulled the other one with himself.

Guan Shan felt that something was stopping him, and he remembered his mobile was between them on the ground still on the charger. He should put it away, but before he could move, the resistance ceased with a loud thump, and he knew they pulled out the charger from the wall, but he didn't care. He was lying on Tian; they were totally tangled in the blanket. They were kissing so wildly like there was no tomorrow.

Then Tian suddenly flipped themselves, Guan Shan was half lying on the mattress, trapped between the ground and Tian's body. Normally, he would have been terrified, but somehow it was kind of comforting to feel the weight of the other boy's body.

Tian moved the little bit, pushed their groin together and Guan Shan was happy the blanket was between them; otherwise, he would have died in embarrassment if Tian felt how aroused he was. One hand went through his hair, and Tian broke the kiss.

'Too much?' he asked, and licked the shell of his ear, but Guan Shan couldn't reply because he couldn't breathe. _"You're in the space, remember, Guan Shan? There's no oxygen. This is the price you have to pay for letting yourself fall into sin"._ He was gasping, while Tian was biting and licking his neck. His vision slowly became blurry, and he knew this is the end, but before he could faint, Tian's soft but determined lips were on his again, kissing him hungrily, making him breathe again.

Guan Shan gripped Tian's hand, nails dug into the skin when their tongue met again. He barely noticed that Tian was gently rocking their body together. It was a light, soft rocking what made the whole kissing more incredible. Somehow Tian's hand found its way under the blanket to Guan Shan's body and slipped under his t-shirt. Feeling those long fingers on his stomach was like his skin caught fire.

Tian's burning hot touch was a cold shower for Guan Shan who suddenly realised what they were doing and roughly pushed Tian away. He moved backwards frightened as much as the blanket allowed.

Suddenly the strong wind dashed something against the window. A moment later, a loud thunder shook the whole building. On the street, a car alarm turned on, and the sharp screaming voice made Guan Shan remember where they were.

Tian looked at him, confused, 'Momo?' he asked, and with shaking hands, he reached out for Guan Shan.

'Don't...'

'Little Mo, I swear it's okay. Everything is alright.'

'No-no... It's not... It's...' Guan Shan was stuttering, and although Tian didn't see his face clearly in the dark, he suspected Guan Shan already had tears in his eyes. Tian let his hand fall back at his side.

Guan Shan had untangled himself from the blanket and crawled to the other side of the bed, 'Let's just sleep.'

Tian sighed and turned around to find his own mobile to make a little light in the room. After tapping on the screen, he looked at Guan Shan direction. The red-haired boy was facing the wall showing his back to Tian and pulled the blanket to his ears. Tian also get into the bed; he was watching Guan Shan back, how his chest was rising and falling. The magical moment was killed because of Tian's own stupidity because he was impatient again. The silence was unbearable.

Tian gently touched Guan Shan's red, fluffy hair, but the other boy immediately froze and stopped breathing.

'I'm sorry, Momo,' he said, devastated.

Tian pulled back his hand, hugged his pillow and silently watched the silhouette of Guan Shan. He fucked up again.

He remembered the first time they met. Tian was the type of person who knows he was good looking and had charm. Usually, people fall for his charisma, what first was flattering but after a while it just became boring. All those fangirls (sometimes boys too) following him, asking stupid questions, have no brain and following every order what Tian made without questioning. They would jump off a building if Tian says so. But Guan Shan was different... When they first met He Tian was his usually, flirty, cocky self, showed his award-winning smile, but it only made Guan Shan angry, and Tian immediately liked that.

Guan Shan was a challenge, and Tian loved challenging himself. First, the only reason he was annoying Guan Shan because it made him angry and the boy fought with him. Finally, somebody who wasn't a giggling, brainless idiot. Somebody who shouted with him called him a bastard, and even tried to hit him. It was refreshing.

Then Tian wanted to test something else and started to talk about his interest, like sci-fi movies or science and although Guan Shan was giving him nasty comments, he listened and sometimes even asked questions back and always, always remembered everything that Tian had said to him.

This was when he began to like this angry, short-tempered boy, although Tian was terrible at how to show affections.

The bed next to him rustled as Guan Shan turned around to face him. It was still dark, and he couldn't see Guan Shan's face, but he knew they were looking into each other eyes.

'He Tian?'

'Yes?'

'These things… everything is still too new for me, and it scares the shit out of me, especially when you do something unexpected. I don't like being surprised, I thought you already know that after you kissed me for the first time and I started to fucking cry. But…'

Tian fight down the urge to reach out and pulled Guan Shan close and hug him. He thought he really fucked up this time, but there was a 'but' at the end of the sentence, and that was the only thing that stopped him from doing something stupid again.

Guan Shan was breathing a bit heavily; he was taking deep breathes like he was calming himself down and convince himself to say something and Tian waited patiently.

'But…' Guan Shan continued with shaking, shy voice, 'If you willing to wait, we can… We can go back to space when I'm older…'

Tian was smiling so hard it actually hurt his cheek, and Guan Shan was red like a tomato and that moment both of them were happy for the darkness, but Tian suddenly got serious.

'Exactly when?' he asked.

'Why do you have to be so fucking pushy about everything?' Guan Shan growled.

'Because…'

"Later, when you're older, one day, once…" He Tian spent his childhood hearing these terms and all of them turned out to be "never". He wanted something precise. An exact date, or time. He didn't care if he had to wait for it for months or years, but he needed an exact date.

'Eighteen.'

'What?'

'I said when I'm eighteen, you, deaf chicken dick!'

A flash of sudden lightning illuminated the room, red eyes met with the grey one for a brief moment and then the dark settled down on them again. Tian was softly smiling at Guan Shan, who was still a bit red and clearly embarrassed by the recent events.

'Little Mo, can I hold your hand?'

'Fuck you, He Tian.'

'But I'm afraid in the dark.'

The lightning was followed by a thunder and Tian shivered a little bit. Although his voice was light and teasing, he hated to admit that it was true. He hated the dark and storm. It brought back painful childhood memories he wished to forget.

When Tian thought he had lost his chance to feel Guan Shan's warm body, a hand came to rest on his and slowly interlocked their fingers. It was small contact, but it was everything that Tian wanted that moment.

'Aww, Momo, it's so sweet.' said Tian teasingly.

'Shut up and let me sleep.'

**Author's Note:**

> When I started to write this, I was thinking about to write a second chapter where Guan Shan is 18, but I don't know. Should I?


End file.
